The Big Cheat

 Yes, I did it. I cheated. 

After church this past Sunday, Nickey and I decided to go to CJ's Pizza for lunch. It had been over a month of eating "clean" and I had done really well... and I wanted cheat food!

I ordered half a Greek salad and Baked Ziti. The salad ended up just being salad greens, Feta, a couple slices of cucumber and a tad of Greek dressing (because I took off the olives and tomatoes).

The Baked Ziti was good, but it really had me craving MY healthy ragout/lasagna concoction I made last week. 

As you can tell, I ate all the salad (with not much dressing) but wasn't able to finish the Ziti, nor did I bring home a doggy box. I had posted these pictures to Facebook and my friend Melinda suggested I throw the bread on the floor. I thought that was hysterical! Obviously, I didn't do it though. I wasn't even tempted by the bread.

So, I cheated. Do I feel guilty? Not really. I feel like I earned a cheat and I've done my exercises since then. Was it worth it? Not really. Sunday morning, I had lost a total of 10 1/2 pounds since my journey began. Monday morning, I had gained a pound and half back. This morning, another pound. Maybe it's because of the Cheaty Ziti, maybe not. But I'm not going to be tempted again! I'll eat my healthy Italian and be happy.

Small Group Personal Training

It's Over!!

Last night was the final Small Group Personal Training class for this particular session. It's over. I made it! And only missed one class, but that was totally not my fault; I can't help it that my good ole car Bessie laid down in Nashville and wouldn't get me home!

When this journey started, I agreed to do all the classes, workshops, whatever, that Abby did. First on the list was Small Group Personal Training. It was similar to the Boot Camp classes I attempted back in the winter. But this time, my mentality was different. I was committed. 

I still had to modify several of the exercises (and even then still don't look "right" doing them), but by the end, I could see a big difference in myself. Rolldowns were more like Laydowns and Use Your Elbows to Get Back Ups when I started. Yet last night, I did actually roll down and come back up without using my elbows!

My Pushups are getting better. Once in a while, I can do a couple without any modification at all, but mostly when I do them they are modified, but I feel they are a little more controlled now and my form is improving.

My Pushup Negatives are slightly less ploppy. I'm pretty sure I'll be totally flat-chested by the time I master them, though!

Bodyweight Starfish is something else I've noticed myself getting better at--not good by any means yet, just better (once I remember the form and what I'm supposed to be doing).

Squat Jumps for me are just squats right now; that's a modification. When I do attempt the full jump, though, I'll need to be sure I'm wearing my Depends! Women who have birthed children should be very careful with these... doesn't matter how old your children are!  ;)

I feel like I do the Cobras pretty well which probably means I'm really not, but it's one thing I think I'm almost good at.

Lunge Hops are too confusing for me... my little brain doesn't think as quickly as my legs need to move. That coordination things comes into play here a little bit. There are a few things I've done in the past several weeks that I really have to engage my brain in! Some things just aren't coming very natural for me at all, especially when it comes to using alternate arms or legs... I just get confused. And when I have to do that alternating toe tap thing on the Bosu... I'm just so afraid I'm going to get all twisted up into a big mess and fall all over the place. Since my broken wrist, I have a fear of falling doing a lot of things anymore! And there are some things I feel like I'm re-learning for whatever reason. We don't point our toes in our workouts, but Mr. Bill in ballet class taught me to ALWAYS point my toes! In high school PE, we learned to cross our feet when we did "Girl Pushups". Now I know that's not correct because our hips are out of line when we do them that way. And, of course, who doesn't remember using your hands to "cup" your head or neck to help pull you up through a Situp? Please tell me someone else used to do that! Anyway, this old dog is learning some new tricks!

So last night's final workout is one we can do anywhere; it was an "Add-On" workout and there is no equipment needed (minus a yoga mat if that's your preference). We started out with Squat Jumps. After those, we did them again, adding Rolldowns. Third time through, we did Squat Jumps, Rolldowns and V-Sit Twists. This kept on repeating until finally we were doing Squat Jumps, Rolldowns, V-Sit Twists, Pushups, Cobra, Double Crunches, Lunge Hops, Walking Lunges, Bodyweight Starfish, Pushup Negatives and Burpees. We were supposed to give it out our all, dig in and give everything we had. Then we went through it once more. Abby's mean like that. But she also did the entire workout with us. 

Abby's SGPT workouts have been different each time and I love that! We never know what's coming at us and she makes it fun! The women in this class have been great, too! I had met a couple of them before, Becky and Cecilia and it was nice having my own support group of Lynn, Susan and especially Nickey. Met some new gals that I hope to see again in future classes too!

And my fortune cookie at the end of class, "I give myself permission to be well. I am the picture of health."

The Sheriff & Social Functions

Last Thursday night, Nickey and I attended the Thunder Moon Seasonal Soiree over at the Homestead Center. Abby and her husband Justin were there, remember? It was only natural to see them there. And lucky for me, Abby has told me more than once that I can eat anything Marion and Lindsay prepare--it's good, healthy and clean, not to mention delicious!

Last Friday night, I attended a retirement celebration for my friend Amy's husband, Evan, who has retired from the Air Force. Guess what, Abby was there, too! Again, though, I wasn't surprised; it was actually Amy who "introduced" me to Abby. 

So, here I am, two nights in a row, at social functions, with Abby, "The Sheriff". Two nights in a row where food is involved. One night, I have permission to eat all that is prepared. Night two, I have to make my own decisions. I let Abby go through the line in front of me (like a good Girl Scout, I plan ahead!). I thought if she was busy checking out the food in front of her, she wouldn't be as likely to be checking out my plate! LOL  Let's see... what do I get? Grapes. Grapes are good--too bad they weren't fermented! I had some blanched veggies--broccoli, asparagus and green beans (or if I want to sound snooty, "haricot vert"). As I'm writing this, I've decided I do want to sound snooty, so I had blanched broccoli, asparagus and haricot vert. Look how green they made my plate! I had a bit of blue cheese there between the broccoli and asparagus. I didn't eat all that, though. You can see part of a Cucumber Gazpacho Cup hidden partly by the broccoli. Amy actually gave the Country Club that recipe... it's a Pampered Chef recipe! She was very thoughtful to have food for us healthy eaters! Beside the Cucumber Gazpacho Cup was a deviled egg (which was pretty clean, minus the mayonnaise); one little lonely cube of Cheddar was beside the egg and you may can see the bit of goat cheese I got to eat with my veggies. At the top of the plate is a little chicken salad sandwich. And before Abby could say a thing, I quickly told her that I knew I shouldn't eat the bread! All in all, I think I fixed a pretty healthy plate after all!

Abby also said I could have ONE glass of the Red, White and Blue Sangria... I just happened to fill it COMPLETELY to the top!  :)

I joke about Abby being the sheriff who shows up to patrol my social functions, but I actually like it. Just don't tell her that! Besides the fact that she's just a joy to be around, she's an inspiration to me and has become a friend. I know I make better choices when she's around me. But please, don't tell her I got a little more of the Sangria when I went to the other side of the room--it was just so good! I like Abby and I like being around her. And I like that sometimes the conversation turns to our journey. I feel really good about what I'm doing and want to share it with as many people as often as I can. It keeps me motivated!

With me here are my friends Lezli, Amy and Susan... they are so supportive of me! I just love 'em! I've been trying to get Lezli to do yoga with me... she says she's going to one day. She needs to before she has to start back to work! Like I said, Amy is the one who introduced me to Abby via "Boot Camp"--you know, the one I went to twice!  :)  Susan took the Small Group Personal Training class with me at the Y. I know she has missed the wonderful showers at "The Core" following her workouts! I'm blessed to have such great friends!

One-Sixth of My Journey is Complete!

I was talking to my Mimi (my Daddy's mother) on the phone this past Friday and commented to her that the first four weeks of my new life were complete. One whole month... and I did it! Then I got a little sad... it dawned on me that one-sixth of my journey was over. 

The first month, from my perspective, was concentrated mostly on nutrition. Sure, I've done the Small Group Personal Training, the 5 Weeks to 5K clinic, a couple of yoga sessions and my one-on-one workouts with Abby. But for me, the focus was on food--cleanse, diet, nutrition, changing bad eating habits into good ones, kicking the Cokes to the curb, drinking water (??!?!!).

From my perspective, month two should be concentrated mostly on the actual Trainer in Your Back Pocket exercises (http://www.liveforitall.com/trainerinyourbackpocket.html)  This month, Abby and I are both going to be out of town quite a bit, and not at the same time, so my workouts will be mostly on my own. I've got to commit, take the initiative and actually do them. I've been through the Total Body, Core, Upper Body and Lower Body TBP workouts with Abby here at my house but I've not done them on my own just yet, except for one. I admit it, I work out much better when Abby is with me. Who doesn't work out better when the trainer is right in front of you, right?? I worry that I'm not doing something right, that my form isn't correct... and yes, I cheat a bit if Abby isn't with me. It's my job to keep her on her toes, you know!

I'm going to have to exercise on vacation. Dang! But I won't need a gym or gym membership to do it. I have all I need with my TBP workout, my body weight, dumbbells, yoga mat and stability ball! Have equipment, will travel. 

I'm going to need all the support I can get this month--comment, leave me feedback, call, text, email or Facebook me. Let me hear from you!

Starting Over

Just finished a run... and I feel really good about it. 

I told Abby yesterday that I wanted to start the 5 Weeks to 5K training completely over. I feel like I have done so horribly on it this past month... I think I averaged 1 1/2 runs a week instead of a run every other day. And I didn't do well on those few runs. I knew it, my body knew it. And my MIND knew it.

She told me not to start over, just to jump right back in where I left off. She's a great motivator and probably doesn't want me to feel like I've failed, I'm guessing.

What did I do? I started completely over. I can feel such a huge difference in my stamina from the first time I did the first run! Some things just have to be done MY way! Can I get a little Frank Sinatra playing now please?

Sometimes, no matter how "right" a trainer is, you have to do what you know works for you.

Along the Way

Along the way of my journey, I have been blessed to meet some really great people. Last night, I got to spend time with many of them.

Nickey and I attended our second Seasonal Soiree over at the Mississippi Modern Homestead Center. After last month's delicious meal, we were hooked!

I met Marion Sansing at last month's soiree. Here is what I can tell you about her: she makes THE BEST Feta cheese I've ever eaten. I swear. She uses the milk from her goat, Acorn. Thank you Acorn for doing what you do so well! Marion also has this great wrap dress type thing made of two aprons... I really want one! So cool!

Lindsay Wilson is Marion's partner in cooking with the Seasonal Soirees. Lindsay also teaches yoga at the MMHC; I've been to one of her classes and just loved it (going back today as soon as I finish the post and shower). Lindsay also has a pair of Dansko sandals that I covet... she found them in a thrift shop in San Francisco for $4 if I remember correctly. Obviously, she must be living right! 

Marion and Lindsay started us out with a Watermelon Mint Spritzer followed by Chilled Avocado and Roasted Corn Soup, topped with Cilantro Oil, French Lentil Salad with Local Chevre Cheese and Summertime Chicken Salad made with Beaverdam Farms free-range chicken. For dessert, we enjoyed a Melon-Shiso sorbet. 

The Spritzer was OK. I'm not a huge watermelon fan after growing up around it and eating so much of it growing up (then having to endure the stench of it rotting in the fields all around in late summer... think that kind of got me to turn my nose up a bit about watermelon). 

I was very intrigued by the cold soup. First of all, I've never had cold soup. In my mind, soup should be hot. And should be served in the winter months when it's cold outside. Not the opposite. Secondly, I don't like avocado. Of course, I'm starting to realize that, over the last few months, I have tasted... and LIKED things that had avocado in them, so I might need to re-think that train of thought. The soup totally surprised me; I really liked it! It had a touch of heat in I believe from serrano pepper that was a just a bit much for me. The cilantro oil looked so pretty on the top of the soup, but cilantro is something that I'm not totally on board with either. I've always thought it tasted like dishwashing liquid.

I don't think I'm a huge lentil fan yet, but they are growing on me. The cheese, again, Marion's, was wonderful! The chicken salad was good, but tasted healthy. I like that good ole mayonnaise chicken salad! The sorbet was so good... yum! I joked that because after I had been eating completely "clean" for nearly a month, I was really wanting something "dirty". This meal was clean and tasted amazing... it was a very refreshing dinner. 

My friend Lynn rode over with Nickey and me. Lynn and I moved to Columbus around the same time and we've ridden the wave of life's trials and tribulations in those six years. When I separated from my ex-husband, she was the one who went with me to sign a lease on my apartment, get my utilities hooked, let me cry on her shoulder. Lynn has always been a very supportive friend who I know loves me, prays for me and laughs with me. She's also promised to cook "clean" for me when I go to her house for dinner. 

The three of us at at a big dining table with Abby and her husband Justin (who, by the way, is so freaking funny... I was laughing, perhaps a little unsilently and inopportune times last night thanks to him). He and Abby make a great couple!

Also at our table were Nisreen and Jay. I met them both last month and Nisreen was the henna artist who tatted me all up! When she walked in last night, she walked over to me and gave me a great big hug of support and encouragement. That meant a lot to me. It means that A, she reads this blog and B, she was really genuine. She and Jay are moving to Connecticut next week. Although I've just met them, I feel a sadness about them leaving. They are fun to spend time with.  

Of course, my two biggest supports are Nickey and Abby. Without the two of them, I couldn't do this. Thank you for being my biggest cheerleaders!!

Don't Panic!

The past few days I've had bouts of not feeling too particularly well. 

Yesterday, I texted Abby and I told her that I had been light-headed the last couple of days, but especially later in the morning yesterday. My blood sugar was normal. She suggested hydrating with plenty of water and having some Celtic sea salt. I had actually drunk a good bit of water yesterday morning (for me anyway). I was also a bit dizzy, my head was hurting a little and I was extremely sleepy. I ate my lunch of sauteed zucchini (with plenty of Celtic sea salt), grapes and some Ezekiel Bread buttered toast and headed on back to work. The headache got worse and the light-headedness didn't seem to go away.

I received an email from Abby later in the afternoon reminding me of the running clinic that night. I told her I was going to lay down when I got home from work to see if I could get rid of the headache. I totally missed the running clinic... I didn't wake up until 8:45! Nickey had cooked supper for us (delicious Asian grilled salmon and grilled asparagus), so I ate, watched a little TV then went back to bed.

The headache is still here today and I've had another little issue that is concerning me a little (I'll save you from the gory details since yesterday's post was about poo... let's just say that this current issue may or may not involve poo... and/or blood).

Trying not to worry or freak myself out because it's probably nothing. But I'm a worrier... besides my whole IBS problems, I had a laparoscopy last fall; I had some pain in my lower abdomen; ultrasounds had revealed ovarian cysts. The pain continued off and on for quite some time, so the laparascopy was performed. Turns out, the ovarian cysts weren't the cause of the pain after all--my colon had wrapped around and adhered to my ovary and was pinning it down. 

At my annual exam last month, I was having some pain again, so another ultrasound was performed, and, again, ovarian cysts were found, but not on the side where I was having the pain and they really weren't large enough to cause pain anyway. I was told that if I had further problems in that specific area, I would probably be looking at a CT and/or a colonoscopy. 

Do I feel any pain in my abdomen, in that area? Of course I do... I've been thinking about it! I've debated making a call to my OB/GYN to get her opinion, but I think I'll wait another day and see what tomorrow brings.

In the meantime, maybe resting after work today should be on my agenda.

Poo

It was inevitable. It was bound to happen. Be around me too long and you're gonna hear about poo. Just be glad this post doesn't include pictures!

Several years ago, I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, also known as having a Spastic Colon. The diagnosis was a treat in and of itself, let me tell you! If you ever want to hear about my experience with a lower GI series/barium enema and sh*tt*ng a statue, just ask me; I'm glad to share.

Anyway, over the years, to say I've had gut problems is kind of an understatement. When the urge hits, I have to go... NOW! Sometimes I can make it through a wave or two of extreme uncomfortableness and complete unsureness before I absolutely have no other choice. I've been known to have to pull off on the side of the road, sometimes making it to a less visible area than the highway. Yes, it's an unpleasant situation and could be quite embarrassing for some. Probably should be moreso for me, but I see it as just another aspect of my sometimes unbelievable, could-write-a-best-selling-book life.

Nickey has been urging me for quite a while to add fiber to my diet; it will help with my "loose stools". Maybe my brain just doesn't work right, but I always thought you had to add fiber to your diet to make you go. Metamucil, anyone?? I thought fiber acted more like a laxative. I certainly did not need that!

When I started the cleanse, I was eating a LOT more veggies than I ever have and taking my supplements, including one called "Gastro-Fiber". I could feel my gut building up and I just knew that once my constipation was gone, it would be gone in a HUGE way and I would have explosive diarrhea. I was honestly worried and scared about my first poo. Turns out, there was no reason to worry after all. I had a normal poo. As a matter of fact, I have become pretty normal in the poo area and I'm quite proud. 

Who would have thought something that has bothered me for years could be corrected in less than four weeks with simple diet and exercise modifications?

Farmer's Market Bounty

Look at what all we got from the Farmer's Market this morning! Blueberries, cucumbers, peppers, Asian eggplant (three different varieties), tomatoes and green beans. Nickey and I have been busy today!

I washed the blueberries and allowed them to air dry then placed them on a sheet pan in a single layer and stuck them in the freezer to flash freeze. They are now all back together in a little square freezer container waiting to be added to smoothies, to top a bowl of steel-cut oatmeal or banana pancake or just as a little snack.

The cucumbers may become pickles tomorrow. Nickey picked them out this morning and got five pretty large ones for a dollar. After pondering today, we may be going to Walmart and buying canning supplies so we can try our hand at that. We're becoming such homesteaders! :)

The green beans got snapped as we watched Grey's Anatomy. I never watched the show while it was on the air, but now Nickey has me hooked on the reruns from Netflix. They'll get blanched hopefully later tonight and go into the freezer.

The peppers are all Nickey's. She could eat them raw. I could make some salsa, I guess. We'll see what happens to them. I chose two of the milder ones for myself. 

Aren't those eggplant gorgeous? They, along with the peppers, are from Black Creek Farms, certified organic gardeners, here in Columbus. We chose three different varieties of an Asian eggplant according to Lydia Enlow, co-owner. If I remember correctly (and I may not), they are "Bride", "Ichiban" and something else. I could totally be lying, who knows? Anyway, these beauties are, of course, slimmer than the eggplant we're used to seeing. Lydia told me they were also a bit sweet, as opposed to the eggplant I had bought at Kroger the day before, which would be a bit more bitter. She suggested slicing them in half length-wise and grilling or broiling them. They'll be a side dish possibly for tomorrow night's supper.

The tomatoes... they are all in a big pot right now. I roasted them with olive oil, salt and pepper then ran them through the food processor and added them to the pot where I had lots of fresh garlic and onions sauteeing. I then diced about a dozen "on-the-vine" tomatoes I bought at Kroger yesterday. It all simmered for close to a couple of hours before I added some fresh basil. After using some for tonight's supper, the rest will cool and I'll put all the good delicious homemade tomato sauce in the freezer for future use.

I'm so proud of myself... one, for actually getting up early enough to make it to the Farmer's Market. Two, I bought some beautiful fruits and vegetables and three, I've already put the majority of it to good use and it won't be wasted. I feel very accomplished.

Now, to get back to supper... I have a lasagna of sorts in the oven. Remember the eggplant I bought at Kroger yesterday? I sliced it up and put it in my Pampered Chef Grill Pan for a bit with a little olive oil, salt and pepper. Then I put it into a small baking dish. I topped it with about a half pound of cooked turkey Italian sausage (sweet), then ladled some of my tomato sauce over that. When it comes out, I'll shred just enough fresh grated Parmesan to give it a little of that cheesy flavor. 

What's for supper at your house?

The Banana Pancake

Abby told me about a great little "recipe" for a banana pancake... one banana, one egg--in a blender. Pour into skillet and cook like a pancake. Sounded so easy and tasty! I tried it Thursday night... what a flop! How could I have screwed up such an easy recipe?? It looked more like... well, to be nice, I'll just say it had the consistency of a very wet bread pudding. What did I do wrong? Was my banana too ripe? Did I over-blend it? Did I try and flip it too soon? Whatever I did was just not right. It didn't taste... bad, really, but it wasn't really good either. It kind of reminded me of a banana-flavored scrambled egg and that's just gross.

Tried again last night. This time I added a tablespoon of ground flaxseed and a scoop of whey protein. Oh, and I sprinkled a bit of cinnamon in it. I think it gave the mixture a little more texture. Result? Near perfection! Isn't it pretty? 

However, I thought I could improve on it just a tad.




This morning, made the pancake the exact same way, but when it first came out of the skillet, I spread some almond butter over it and topped it with some chopped apple then sprinkled a bit more cinnamon over the top. This was fabulous!

Day 22... Day 1 AFTER the Cleanse!

I survived the 21 Day Cleanse! It was not the easiest three weeks of my life, that's for sure! But you know what? All in all, it wasn't as difficult as I had expected it to be either. 

I still don't love all vegetables, but I have a deeper appreciation for the health benefit they provide. I still miss my Cokes immensely, but I've learned that I can make it without them. I've been researching a lot and am finding recipes I can use as they are or make some adjustments in them so they'll be "safe" foods for me. Guess what else? I can cook healthy! I'm learning to read labels on things to find out the better choice for me. Just because "all-natural almond butter" is "organic" doesn't mean it's the best--I should not choose the "no-stir" variety because it has added sugar and oil. 

I got bored on the diet, I'll admit. Water and unsweet tea only to drink for 21 days... I'd love to have had a Coke, sweet tea or a vanilla-caramel latte. I loved the Smoothies at first, but drinking them every morning has started to cause some burnout. I got to the point where I just couldn't stand the thought of one more bite of salad with a vinaigrette dressing. The "extras" that Abby allowed me to add in the Cleanse (such as brown rice, lentils, steel-cut oatmeal) sounded like they would give me a reprieve, but they really didn't. I like white rice. I like it fried, I like it in sushi, I like it with butter and cream. But I don't really care for brown rice. I never tried the lentils (they look too much like green peas which are the nastiest food God ever created) and the oatmeal was pretty much like wallpaper paste without butter (which I could have a bit of) and sugar (which I could not have one little smidgen of). The nuts were helpful. The Larabars were a lifesaver! When I felt like I really needed something else, maybe something sweet, maybe a "treat" of some kind, I reached for a Larabar. But not just any flavor... I always chose the ones with five or less ingredients.

Now, for the numbers. At the end of the Cleanse, I am nine pounds lighter than when I started. I'll admit, I was a little disappointed at that number simply because I've always heard that if I were to just quit drinking soda and start drinking water, the weight would just "fall right off". I made a lot more changes in three weeks than just changing what I drink... I ate healthier, I exercised. I know I didn't get fat overnight (or in just three weeks), so I know all the added weight won't come off overnight (or in just three weeks). After I gave it some thought, I'm really proud of those nine pounds. I can tell a big difference in the way my clothes fit! Going to have to start wearing more belts so I can keep my britches up now!

For the more important numbers... I got a glucometer Wednesday and starting tracking my glucose levels on Thursday. As you can tell from the picture below of my log book, my "diabetes" doesn't seem to make an appearance. All my levels, with the exception of last night before bedtime, have been COMPLETELY NORMAL (65-99). I had a snack of fresh fruit after supper last night, so I think that's why it was a little high.

I feel so much better than I did when I started (well, with the exception of the stiffness and soreness from yesterday's workout). I am also sleeping lots better so, naturally, I feel more rested. I'm not taking the naps every day after work like I did before. I don't feel like I'm in a fog most of the time any longer. I swear, I was honestly beginning to worry that I was exhibiting symptoms of some early-onset dementia (or mini-strokes). There were times I couldn't think of the right words, couldn't make cohesive thoughts come out of my mouth, my memory was shot. Now I just know that that "fog" was my diabetes being out of control.

Was the Cleanse worth it? Most definitely! And like Abby, I think I'll try and do it annually, as a reboot for my health... and a reminder to keep eating whole, clean and healthy.

Fortune Cookies

One of Abby's little motivators are her "Fortune Cookies". Sounds kind of odd for a trainer to be handing out cookies, doesn't it? These aren't the edible kind. I got my first Fortune Cookie during boot camp with Abby, back in January. Basically, they are simple little pieces of paper with inspirational quotes on them. She has a small white envelope filled with the cookies that she passes around after class and we each get to draw one.

This past Saturday morning, Abby came to the house for our one-on-one session for the week. My cookie: "Fear of failure becomes fear of success for those who never try anything new."

After Small Group Personal Training Monday night: "Highly functioning people say, 'Where I am is fine, but I can grow.'"

Knowing I had had a rough day in several aspects, Abby emailed me a cookie today: "You create your thoughts, your thoughts create your intentions and your intentions create your reality."

I love the Fortune Cookies!

SIX AM... That's 6 in the MORNING!

After getting back to town at 10:30 the night before and getting home from Walmart around 11, I should have been completely ready for a snooze fest; however, either the caffeine from the tea on the ride home or my excitement (anxiety) about running the next morning kept me awake too long. Way too long. I finally put myself to bed at 3:45 am. My alarm started going off at 5, but I didn't get up till 5:30.

Nickey and I made it to the Riverwalk at 6:00 am to meet Cecilia and Becky to run. Lo and behold, the cop showed up to the party! That's right, Abby was there. None of us knew she was going to show up, so it's a good thing we all did! I just thought the deputy (Cecilia) would be there and I knew I didn't want any part of her!  LOL

Cecilia and Becky were ahead of us and off they went. Nickey, Abby, Timber (Abby's dog) and I went our own pace. Nickey and I are just beginning this 5 Weeks to 5K thing and I'll just be honest here... I don't like to run. Never have. But I really do hope this will change that for me. For a while now, I've thought about being a runner. I don't know why. But running a 5K is on my bucket list (and it was before this journey, too). I also think it'd be cool to run the Nashville Marathon, but in all likelihood, I don't see that happening. Baby steps. We'll see.

I liked running with Abby because she could point out things with my form that I needed to correct. In my head, I think I know what I'm supposed to be doing, but getting my body to do what's in my head doesn't always work out so good.

Abby had the timer on us and I think we ran more than we were supposed to. I wished I had had some water because my mouth sure was needing something wet. But I don't think I've mastered carrying water while running yet. Besides, I think it would just slosh around and make me want to vomit.

I somehow finished my run and although I was whooped, in a way I felt very exhilarated. I was tired, but refreshed. How strange. We stopped at Kroger on the way home and I kept thinking to myself how wild it was that I had already exercised and was at the grocery store before I usually ever made it out of bed for work in the mornings!

The rest of day I was expecting to feel beat, because of my lack of sleep and my early morning exercise. But you know what? I just felt good.

This Is Me... YIKES!

Have you seen the "Before" pictures Abby has on her blog Post, "The Assessment"? All I can say is "Yikes". Bless your poor eyeballs, they are probably all stung and burned up now. I can see my Mother's shape and I've just decided I need to work on my posture as well! How about those rolls during my wall-sit? 

Part of me thinks I should feel embarrassed by these pictures being splayed all over the interwebs; however, I'm not. Maybe because that's just how I am. Maybe because I am so encouraged by this transformation... I WANT everyone to see the changes.

Today I'm reminded of a song that I really relate to... and have for a while, but especially right now, where I am right now. 

"This Is Me" by Faith Hill

Yeah I have my addictions

I keep my share of secrets

And things you'll never see

Mmm I get selfish and defensive

And pay too much attention to my insecurity

Though I

I'm just like everybody else

I try to love Jesus and myself, yeah yeah

I don't know what you believe

Or what you think of what you see

But this is a part of me yeah

What I do and who I am

All of my impurities oh

Are right here on my sleeve

This is me

This is me

Yes my heart breaks for the homeless

I worry about my parents

And all my bills are late

Yeah I I'm dealing with the changes

Of this complicated strangeness

Of seeing life this way

Hey yeah I

I'm just like everybody else

I try, Lord I try to love Jesus and myself, yeah yeah

I don't know what you believe

Or what you think of what you see

But this is a part of me yeah

Of what I do and who I am

All of my impurities

Are right here on my sleeve

This is me yeah

This is me

Wo... yeah yeah, yeah

I laugh at silly movies

Tear up when I see babies

And I'm stubborn as a stone

Yeah I

I criticize my body

I wonder if I'm ready to ever be alone

Oh I

I'm just like everybody else

I cry yes I cry just like everybody else yeah yeah yeah

I don't know what you believe

Or what you think of what you see

But this is a part of me

Of what I do and who I am

All of my impurities

Are right here on my sleeve

This is me

Oh this is me

Oh this is me

I'm gonna celebrate it

I'm gonna celebrate it

Don't be afraid who you are

Celebrate who you are

What you do, what you feel, what you see, who you are

Celebrate, celebrate

This is just me

I'm not afraid, I'm not ashamed

This is me

Bye Bye Bessie, Hello ...

Monday morning... bright and early. I call the auto shop where Bessie (my old trustworthy Yukon) sits. Allen tells me he'll have someone take a look at her as soon as possible and get back with me. I wait. I worry. I shower. I wait. I call back. Bad news. Bessie needs a whole new rear end. They've found a used one with 80K documented miles on it; can have it put in for just over TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS and it'll be another day before we can get home. What??  My car probably isn't even worth that! I called my Daddy for advice. We both agree that it's time to do some car shopping.

I text Abby to let her know that Nickey and I won't be back in town in time for our Small Group Personal Training class that night. Honestly, I hated that I was going to miss it, because I was actually looking forward to it. Seriously. She text back and told me to get some exercises in while I was car shopping. Yeah, right! First of all, like I'm going to do just that (at a car dealership, no doubt!) and second of all, when you're shopping at CarMax, you just don't have any downtime. This was my first CarMax experience and it was a pleasure! It was a smooth process, no haggling, no bumps, just smooth sailing from the moment we walked in the door till the moment we walked out... with the keys to a 2008 Chevy Impala with 18,136 miles on it! That's an average of less then 3,000 miles a year!

Nickey and I left CarMax and headed back downtown to return Hanna's car to her. We said our goodbyes to the kids and took a final stroll downtown before heading home. We strolled too long (or too far)... the heavens opened up and POURED on us. We were four or five blocks from the car with no umbrella... we laughed, stomped in the puddles and got soaking wet on our way back to the car. A funny thing I noticed... I wasn't winded at all. A few weeks ago, that much physical effort would have taken my breath. Was it the adrenaline rushing through me, or was I in fact, feeling better?

Around 9:00 that night, while still traveling and still about 100 miles from home, I got a text from Abby. I was to meet Cecilia & Becky at SIX the next morning at the Riverwalk to do my run. SIX O FREAKING CLOCK... IN THE MORNING?? I'm not one of those people. My exercise is done at night. Did Abby not realize that we weren't even going to be home until after 10:30 pm? Did she not care that I was emotionally and physically exhausted? Did she not love me at all? Did she want me to die?? In a nutshell, Abby does care, and that is exactly why she's on this journey with me. 

Torture. Torture I Say.

Sunday I find myself at the bar of an Irish pub listening to live Irish music. What do I have in front of me? Water. Water with lemon. Gosh, I'm such a rebel. 

I'm REALLY wanting a cocktail. I text Abby. She encourages me as only Abby can. "Stay strong. You are in the middle of a liver cleanse and alcohol will defeat the purpose." Then she tells me if I'm going to anyway, vodka and soda water with a lime or lemon would be my best choice. Yuk. That doesn't sound so good. A sweet, fruity, rummy drink sounds good! I ask Abby how far one little cocktail could set me back. She says at least a day. That one little cocktail just isn't worth it. 

I've worked really hard to "cleanse". While I haven't followed everything exactly, I have not eaten or had anything to drink that I'm not supposed to. Why start now? It's Day 8. I can make it.

Still not doing so well with exercising on my own, though. So many excuses I can find!

The Weekend from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks Continues

Much of my Saturday was spent in bed. I woke up around 7:00 am to potty, and decided to call the mechanic about my car. I left another message for them to call me when they opened. Then I started searching the Internet on my phone the best I could. That's when I realized that the place my car had been towed to was not open until Monday. Great. I tried to find some other places that were open, but didn't have much luck. What else to do but go back to sleep? I finally managed to drag myself out of bed sometime between 2:30 and 3... in the afternoon! Yes, I actually did sleep all that time. I'm learning as I get older that sometimes the best thing for my body, mood and spirit is simply sleep.

After I was back among the living somewhat, Nickey, Hanna, Joey and I headed downtown. The kids had to go by the place they work and take care of a couple things. They work at a little upscale deli downtown called Cafe Le Crumbs. I finally got to see where Hanna works! The owner is a huge stickler for cleanliness and it didn't take me to long to spot the "100" on their health inspection. The menu had my mouth watering, but the cafe is closed on the weekends, so eating there was not an option. While we were downtown, we decided to just walk around, hang out and chill. We were all hungry and given that we were all broke, we decided to find something "cheap". Easier said than done, but we opted for a little hole in the wall called "The Pita Pit." Now, BC (before the cleanse), I would have had a gyro with feta and tzatziki sauce and been a happy little girl. However, none of those were an option, so I chose to have my pita "fork-style" which meant I got a salad. Lettuce, Romaine, spinach, red onion, cucumber, green pepper, chicken souvlaki and balsamic vinaigrette was in front of me. Another salad. I was so tired of salad. 

The nutrition is going well except for the fact that I want "real food". I want meat. I want potatoes. I want bread. I don't want another damn salad.

As far as exercise goes, I walked. That's all. I didn't do any of the videos Abby sent me. I didn't do any of my "runs" I'm supposed to do. No core exercises. But I ate the damn salad.

Thank God for Larabars! Abby showed me these on our trip to Kroger. I had to be careful and watch the ingredients, but they are an "emergency" snack. Lo and behold, those little suckers really do help get me through. Nickey and I share them, so I'm really only eating a half bar each day. Cashew Cookie is my favorite! Green Smoothies and Larabars... not only do I tolerate them because they are "healthy", I actually really like them!

The Day from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

The day for moving my daughter in to her first apartment arrived. There are no dorms at the school she's attending, so the school has contracts with three different apartment complexes to house their students. There are four students in each two bedroom, two bath apartment. Dorm rules apply for the most part and there are RAs at each complex.

Hanna and Joey met Nickey and me at the apartment complex. It was raining and the sign-in area was outside, which meant we stood in the rain for a while. No worries, though--we had umbrellas and excited moods. Hanna finally made it to the front of the line and was told that HER apartment was not ready. There had been a leak that would have to be replaced before she could move in. She was temporarily assigned to another apartment. We asked when she would be able to move into her REAL apartment and were told that it could be a week... or a month.

Off to the temporary apartment we go. When we got there, we realized that we had been given the wrong key for the apartment, so Joey and Hanna went back for the right set of keys.

We had to make do and move all her stuff into the temporary space. Got a little exercise in doing this because we had to go down one flight of stairs and then up another to get to her apartment. I washed all her bedding, towels and washcloths and made her bed. There were several things we didn't bother opening or unpacking since she would be moving again so soon. 

I did manage to unpack everything I needed to make my green smoothie at the apartment:

After we finished at the apartment, we headed to the Art Institute for Housing and New Student Orientations. Lunch was provided (which is normally a great thing, right?). However, lunch consisted of a turkey sandwich, a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie and a bag of Lay's. I peeled off the turkey and drank my water (and encouraged Hanna to take all the leftovers... I remember being a poor, broke, college student!).

After about four hours, we finally finished at the school and headed to Opry Mills, specifically to Bed, Bath & Beyond to get the rest of the stuff that Hanna "needed". While we were at the mall, Joey got a phone call that one of his friends had taken his life. Needless to say, that changed the tone for everyone.

Nickey and I were going to take the kids to dinner before we left to come home. We agreed that it would be some place in the mall, so we started checking out the menus that were posted. We wanted something where we could sit down and enjoy a nice meal together. No food court. We looked at Claim Jumper, but it was a bit pricey, although they did have stuff that Nickey and I could eat. The Aquarium looked fun, but we knew we'd be paying for the atmosphere, not the food. Moe's was where the kids wanted to go, but there was NOTHING on the menu for Nickey and me. 

We ended up at Romano's Macaroni Grill. Have you ever tasted the warm rosemary bread they bring out before the meal? You know, the warm deliciousness you sop up the olive oil and cracked black pepper with? Yeah, I didn't have any.  Nor did I have any wine.

Macaroni Grill has always been a top choice of mine. I love their Penne Rustica and Chicken Scallopini, but those weren't good choices for me, so I opted for the Grilled King Salmon and Roasted Asparagus (instead of the Sun-Dried Tomato Orzo which is usually served with it), which was really good. I was very proud of myself; although I was very tempted, I made wise decisions when it came to what I put in my mouth.

Hanna moved in, dinner eaten... it was time to go. Nickey and I still had a drive home ahead of us and it was after six. As we were leaving the parking lot of the mall, my car started acting funny. Then it made some HORRIBLE noises. Bessie laid down on us. Of course, the rain had started again. I started making phone calls to AAA and State Farm; Nickey and Joey tried to investigate the problem. Hanna didn't know what to do, but I'm sure she was QUITE embarrassed! What a comedy scene it must have been, although it didn't seem so funny at the time. 

This was supposed to have been a simple overnight trip and here we were... out of state, needing a tow, we don't have a clue about any mechanics in the area so we had to rely on whoever we were sent to. Luckily, I thought to ask that we be taken somewhere that was open on the weekend since it was after 7:00 pm on a Friday night. 

The tow truck finally came. We rode with the tow truck driver and tried to formulate our plan. After viewing our checking account online, we realized that we only had $80 in our account because Nickey's check that had been deposited on Wednesday had not yet posted. Thankfully, Joey's mother offered us a room at her house to sleep. Of course, we had the clothes on our backs and the dirty ones from the day before in my car. At this point, I was starting to allow the stress of it all to break me down. The tow truck driver had suggested the problem may be the rear end and hopefully it wouldn't need to be completely replaced. Yikes--that sounded expensive! I started trying to figure out how in the world I was going to pay for this repair to ole Bessie. 

We get to Joey's mother's house and crash. Yes, I know I'm still supposed to do one of the four videos Abby had emailed me to do while I was gone. And I know I could do the core exercises I'm supposed to do as part of the 5 Weeks to 5K clinic. But I'm not up to it. I'm pretty much emotionally wiped out at this point. However, day 8 of my cleanse was still successful! Even after all I had been through for the day, I had not veered off my nutrition course!

4th of July

Fourth of July... the day most Americans are grilling burgers, hot dogs, with sides of chips or potato salad and homemade ice cream for dessert. Hmmm... not this girl!

I had a trip to Nashville planned to move my daughter into her first apartment. I was going to leave on Wednesday, but with this cleanse, I still wasn't feeling too sporty, so I opted to wait and go the morning of the 4th. Nickey was able to go with me, but due to a few factors (mainly being able to find a reliable puppy sitter at the last minute of a holiday weekend), we decide to go on Thursday and return on Friday night. We had planned carefully and had meals, snacks, and smoothies and everything else we needed ready for our trip. We took two coolers--one with snacks and water for the drive, the other with the main guts of our meals and smoothies. Nickey washed grapes and I made some Sassy Water (a gallon jug of ice water with diced cucumber, grated ginger, sliced lemons and fresh mint leaves). I had made Tabbouleh with Quinoa the night before and had the ragout I had made, along with two leftover turkey patties. The spinach, bananas, mango, peach and Kefir also made it to the cooler for my smoothies. I packed paper plates, a knife, cutting mats, reusable cutlery and a blender. Add in some almonds and sunflower seeds, three or four Larabars and my supplements and we were ready to go!

We left around 11 am (with a smoothie in my glass and water in my Tervis) and decided to take a short detour on the way. We ended up in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Who knows what Lynchburg is famous for? A bunch of drunks, that's who! Lynchburg is the home of the Jack Daniel's Distillery. Now, I'm honestly not a whiskey drinker myself, but I love the story, the history and besides, it was something fun to do on a quick trip. We had a wonderful time there! By the end of our visit, though, I was starving! They had a boarding house type restaurant, but we had missed the seating times. We ventured into the general store where they were handing out fudge samples. A week ago, I would have sampled every flavor they had out. Not anymore. I didn't try even one sample. I walked away. They had a little BBQ restaurant on the square. It was still open (even though most everything else closed at 5:00). But... BBQ wasn't on my diet any more than fudge was, so we left and headed out of town. I was hungry, but there wasn't anything there for me to eat. And I'll just be honest--I didn't want healthy food. I was out of town. I've always had a "rule" that when I'm away from home, I eat things I can't find at home. So guess where we went?

Subway. We went to Subway. Subway has salads that will keep me on my diet. I had a salad with turkey breast. Lettuce, turkey, green peppers, red onions, oil, vinegar, salt and pepper. That was my one big meal of the day. A salad. From Subway. So, I was really a little disappointed in the meal itself, but SO proud of myself for sticking to it!

We got to Nashville and I got to see my baby girl! We met Hanna and Joey (her boyfriend) at Target. Have you ever been to Target? Every Target I've ever been in either smells like wonderfully just popped buttered popcorn or Starbuck's. Have you noticed that? Do you know that I can't have EITHER of those things? Do you know that I love BOTH those things? Target is a test. I pass the test. I am strong. I don't have the popcorn.

It has rained on and off ALL day on the 4th. The weather was kind of dismal and gloomy and so was the mood of my stomach.

Ragout

One of the difficulties I have encountered so far is cooking. I love to cook. But cooking healthy is not the way I love to cook. I like to use butter, cream, cheese, cream cheese or bacon to most everything I cook. Seriously, most everything I ever cooked before had at least one of these components; my good ole Loaded Smashed Potatoes had them all! And I've already told you I've been a meat and potatoes girl for 43 years.

I like cooked vegetables WAY more than I like them raw. However, cooking down some fresh green beans in bacon, bacon grease and onion (or butter, onion and chicken broth) doesn't seem to be on Abby's list of approved foods. Nickey has always said that I cook vegetables in a way to make them taste like something else (and bacon and/or butter typically play a huge part in that).

Cooking vegetables in a healthy way, oh that's so foreign! However, I did come up with a ragout last week that was so good, I made it two nights in a row! Some of you may be wondering what a ragout is. A ragout is basically a main dish stew that's simmered for a long period of time, with or without meat and with a wide variety of vegetables. Mine, of course, didn't include meat. Ragout is pronounced like Ragu, the brand of jarred spaghetti sauce we've all had at one time or another.

I put some Roma tomatoes, red peppers and garlic in the oven to roast for a while. While that was going on, I thinly sliced a Vidalia onion and put it in a pot to start sauteeing in just a little bit of olive oil. I don't like carrots, but I had some on hand and knew I could run them through my food processor to give the ragout some extra flavor, texture and substance without big chunks of carrot, but still get those nutrients in there. I also added some mushrooms and green pepper to the carrot/onion mixture and let it all hang out in the pot, just letting all the flavors get to know each other and be friends. When the veggies in the oven were roasted, I put the tomatoes into the food processor, then dumped that into my pot. I peeled the skin off the red peppers and garlic, processed that, also and threw that into the pot as well. I let it all simmer for a while, just loving the smell that was wafting through my kitchen.

The first night, I cut thick slices of eggplant, sauteed them just for a bit then topped them with the ragout.  The next night, I made a bigger batch (after a trip to Kroger to buy more tomatoes... it's amazing how much veggies shrink down when they cook!). That night, I had taken a pound of ground turkey and made four patties and "fried" them in a dry non-stick skillet, then topped them with the ragout. It was almost kind of a like an adult Sloppy Joe (without the bread, of course).

I was proud of myself... I was enjoying cooking healthy... and it was delicious!

I was RUNNING (in my best Forrest Gump voice)

Tuesday night was the first night of my 5 Weeks to 5k clinic. It was actually the second session of the clinic, but I hadn't gotten started with Abby until after the first session. We had gone through most of session one during my assessment, and I had had my first run. I really wasn't sure what the training session would consist of. I just thought that everyone would simply run, at his or her own pace, and Abby would just be sprinting along with all of us, calling us out on what we screwed up on. I couldn't figure out how this clinic was for beginners as well as seasoned runners; I just couldn't get through my mind how that would work. Needless to say, I was nervous!

Nickey and I showed up at the Riverwalk and joined Abby, Cecelia and two other folks for our second session. In our first session, we had learned about form and stance. For the second session, our feet and hips were the focus. I had NO idea how much thought, preparation and detail went into running! Our group of five trainees divided up into three and two (with two being Nickey and me) and we would learn one basic fundamental from Abby and implement it, running just a short distance. Truth be known, the distance wasn't really long enough for me to get all my bearings straight. By the time I had concentrated on one aspect, I had forgotten about all the others!

There's so much to think about when running properly. I tell you again--I had NO idea! Abby uses a lot of tricks (metaphors) to help us remember certain things and while I was busy concentrating on short, quick steps and not raising my knees, I forgot about the bungee pulling me forward. I would concentrate on my floppy ankles and butt but forget all about my washing machine hips. My form has a lot to be desired yet, but I can tell I'm learning because ever since Tuesday night when I have seen someone running, I analyze their form and think to myself what they are doing wrong. Abby has never indicated so, but I can imagine she gets frustrated with me. In my head, I know what to do and I feel like I'm doing it, but I can tell from her gentle reminders that I'm not doing something right. In time, I'll get better.