Didn't See That Coming!

Friday, August 30th... I got a bit of a surprise.

Nickey and I met Abby at the Riverwalk for an early morning workout. We met at 6:15 (which neither Abby or I were thrilled about because neither of us like getting up that early). But... it had to be done. 

I was long overdue. I had missed exercise. I know, that sounds strange, especially for me. But I wasn't feeling good like I had before and I knew why... plain ole diet and exercise. Those words that used to not be my friends, somehow, had snuck up on me and made me feel better... and even *gasp* like them... but only because of how they made me feel afterward (not during!).

We met early because I had plans for the Labor Day weekend. I was headed to Nashville to see my daughter. She works in a little upscale deli downtown and I wanted to be there in time for lunch.

I SO dreaded seeing Abby. I knew she was going to have it in for me. She was going to make me pay for all I had missed. I was meeting the devil at the Riverwalk. Worse than being put physically through Hell, though, I had to see the disappointment in Abby's face... and that was mental Hell for me.

But it wasn't Abby's fault I was going through Hell. It was my own.

I never know what to expect with any of Abby's workouts. That's one thing I love about Abby... she keeps everyone on their toes. There's no point of trying to guess what's coming next. Just take it and go with it.

So, we started our workout. I was angry for letting all that time go by with no exercise. I started beating myself up. I was angry that when I was told to do Sit & Stands, that I really had to think about what they were (if I had been doing my workouts like I was supposed to, that would have been a no-brainer!). I was angry that I had lost 1/6th of my journey with Abby (there's no getting that back... I wasted it). I was angry that I had to concentrate so hard on the Step Ups (alternating each leg should've come naturally if I had been doing them all along). I was angry that I never got past the first week's homework of the 5 Weeks to 5K program. I was angry that I had returned to being lazy. I was SO angry at myself.

When we sat down on the mats for Rolldowns & V-Sits (among other things), Abby was continuing to talk about stuff, but I don't remember a thing she said. I was beating myself up. And when I looked at Abby, I saw disappointment, which made me even more pissed off... at myself.

That's when it happened. That's when I got a surprise. Tears started falling down my face. I had heard of people crying during workouts before, but those were probably people who just cry in general. I don't. And I certainly never thought that that kind of emotion would come from me during a workout. I was shocked. I couldn't speak. Nickey and Abby were both probably shocked at that! 

The rest of the workout, I tuned out everything except the instructions Abby gave me... what to do next. I was focused on finishing that workout. I was focused on giving the best I had to give, even though I was completely exhausted already. I wasn't going to fail this workout. I was going to finish it with all I had.

And I did.

Then I went home and crashed. I missed lunch in Nashville. But I felt good about why.